It is that time of year, yet again, it happens at the same time every year, yet pandemonium still ensues.  Parents look forward to the kids going back to school, to the familiar routine that life seems to be designed around, but getting it all up and running again seems to stress time and pocket books.  There is immense planning around going back to school; between scheduling, class picking, supply shopping, new clothing needed and extra curricular activity planning and juggling doors can open up to disconnect and discontent within the home.

While parents try to plan for every potentially lost mitt, children can grow nervous; who will their teachers be?  Will my new clothes be ‘in’?...   The list can go on.  Feel free to take a break, the sales are rampant and going nowhere, try to put it all in perspective.  We all made it through school, take the opportunity to all grow in the process as a family and do your best to enjoy the journey.  Calgary is abundant with support for families, and fun activities to enjoy to take your mind off of the every day stresses, and seasonal pressures.

At Journey Counselling we have some links for you to help ease the stress of the upcoming fall.  Happy Fall 2010!

For some events in Calgary:

http://www.calgaryarea.com/community/eventspsa/calgaryeventspsa.asp

http://www.savvymom.ca/index.php/newsletter/cal_calgary_the_savvy_guide_to_september3/

http://www.discovercalgary.com/Calgary/Events/AllEvents/

Calgary Board of Education Information:

http://www.cbe.ab.ca/

Calgary Catholic Board of Education:

http://www.cssd.ab.ca/

New U of C Student Information:

http://education.ucalgary.ca/eap/node/98

For example, the film illustrates in dramatic fashion that our dream environments (composed of, say, buildings, natural scenes, or fantastical landscapes) are all creations of our brain, somehow.  Some of these creations are as enchanting as a science fiction film by Lucas or as dramatic as a tragedy by Coppola.  As mentioned by Leonardo DiCaprio’s personage, in our dream world, we do not consider such landscapes and other creations to be ‘self-generated,’ though of course both the dream setting and the image of ourselves within the setting are fabricated by the same brain. Other aspects of the dream world, such as decisions, preferences, and ‘action selection’ can be construed as ‘self-generated.’  Aspects of these self-generated processes resemble those of waking life: Deciding which alley to run down when escaping a foe is a similar deliberation in a dream or in waking life.

The film also allows one to appreciate that many aspects of the dream narrative can be irrational. For instance, I once had a dream in which I was fishing with a friend, only to moments later be giving a lecture on ‘memory and the brain’ in a university classroom. (It was a university that I had never visited nor seen on television, but, for some reason, this did not grab my attention. I just kept on lecturing.) Such non-sequitur series of events do not happen in reality, primarily because sensory inputs from ‘the world out there’ constrain the creations of the mind.  The mind is not a passive entity, but a creative one, much like a film producer.  According to Hobson, one fails to detect non-sequiturs and other absurdities in dreams because the higher-level, rational centers of the brain (such as prefrontal cortex) are less activated when dreaming than when being awake. (This is in contrast to many other parts of the brain, which, surprisingly, are more active during dreaming than waking.)

At the same time, many aspects of the dream experience are lawful. For instance, eye-glasses in my ‘fishing-to-lecturing dream’ were always on people’s faces and were never floating in mid air.  And apples were red, chairs were on the floor, and what I was scribbling on the blackboard during my lecture was white chalk on a black background. All these creations were lawful. Regarding lawfulness, the film also brings attention to the fact that, upon experiencing tissue-damage in a dream, one experiences pain, even though there is no real physical cause of the pain. Such an observation can be readily made in one’s dream.

This brings me to another observation, one about dreams. Perhaps it will only be in the sequel that this startling fact is brought to the attention of the audience–that the ‘software’ in our brain giving rise to our dream experiences is the very same software giving rise to our experiences during waking. (See further discussion here.)  In short, both the world of dreams and of ‘waking reality’ are magnificent creations of the same brain and software. These creations are as enthralling and intriguing as those of Hollywood, but admission is free.

A blog from Psychology today: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/consciousness-and-the-brain/201007/the-film-inception-observations-about-dreams-and-in-dreams

you have switched to Rogers in order to watch the games at work

you wake up at 5am to watch the first game and watch the replays later that night

you have stopped going to the gym in case you miss the second match of the day

you have become familiar with the names of players on several teams and know what teams they play for in the European leagues

you have purchased the now infamous vuvuzela on eBay

you have sold your stocks early and actually gone to South Africa

Rest assured there are so many of us its not a concern!

We have a keen awareness of world drama played on the football stage. The USA holding the UK to a draw, Switzerland beating Spain the world cup favorites, the anticipated antics of Diego Maradona, the current Argentina coach who’s expected drama is at the top of several betting pools. It is through football (soccer to us in North America) that ‘weaker’ nuclear powers can show their strength, that previous warring nations can play a friendly game and players exchange shirts: the world cup is surely a wonderful stage, a meeting place of the world, a chance at peace and healthy competition.

Take control of your time and of your life. Record the games on PVR and watch them without missing out on other important things in life. May the best team win!

Rejeanne brings a bilingual mix into our office, offering sessions in both English and French.  She has travelled, studied and worked in many countries and brings a rich experience of many years immersed in different cultures, raising a family and teaching at several universities. She is happy to start seeing new clients at Journey Counselling and welcomes everyone with a warm smile and a firm dedication to assisting each client with their specific needs and situational challenges.

We are grateful and excited for what she brings to our team. Please see http://www.journeycounselling.ca/who-we-are/ for more about her background and areas of special interest. http://www.journeycounselling.ca/contact-us/ our office to book an appointment with Rejeanne. She can also be reached directly by email: rejeanne@journeycounselling.ca

Every parent wants to believe that their child will think about the consequences before acting, however, on some level, many of us know that this is simply not the case.  Children are raised in a society where gratification is sought fervently and expected instantly.  Children’s relationships are becoming more “adult” too quickly with the anonymity of technology rather than a face-to-face interaction.

A study conducted by the American National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, along with CosmoGirl.com, found that: 1 in 5 teens (13-19years of age) had sent or posted nude or semi-nude media of themselves.  Text or e-mail of a sexually suggestive nature was even more ‘common’: 39% of all teens polled admitted to sending while 48% admitted to receiving them.  Many of these teens, (71% of girls and 67% of boys) who had sent or posted this type of material stated that is was to a girl or boyfriend, while 21% or girls and 39% of boys stated that is was sent to an individual with whom they wanted to “hook-up with or date.   There were a total of 653 teens (Aged 13-19), and 627 young adults (aged 20-26) polled and the data was recorded separately.

Between the internet, studies, books, and people’s opinions, we are being bombarded with data on the subject of youth and technology. However, the simple fact remains, it is here to stay.

The great debate on how to prevent our children from being inappropriate with their technology usage is on!  Some extremists say that your children/teenagers should not have their own cell phones, let alone one with internet access.  Others recommend you keep an open door with your kids and they will be honest.  The simplest solution, and definitely not fool proof, is simply awareness.  Make your children aware of the laws, every province/state/country has different ones.  Secondly, they need to know that once these images and texts are out you cannot get them back; they are there forever and your children will not have the ability to control who sees them or where they go.

It should be as simple as asking your kids, “Would you want your grandparents to see or read this?”  However, this generation is so desensitized that this may not be a great way of expressing the potential fallout of sharing this sort of data.    Research some real life examples, close to home articles that show the nightmare that these actions can cause.  Children and teens in trouble with the law, one parent claiming that her daughter committed suicide over the humiliation of her nude photos reaching her entire school, and the statistics on their future choices for number of sexual partners and unplanned pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections etc…

Ultimately, the choice to share sexual images and emails is your child’s,  Just as you can ‘t stop them from sending, you can’t guarantee they won’t receive any.  The safest choice you can make is awareness and keeping an open and safe home for your children and teenagers to be honest with you about their lives and the lives of their peers.

My journey to Rwanda last year, together with a group of fourteen counselors was focused on training local counselors in trauma counselling to aid them in their work with genocide survivors. We came face to face with the ability of a people to move so far past the atrocities of genocide that I had to adjust my perspective and call the place – ‘a land of the living not the dead!’ Hope and signs of progression or ‘moving on’, as they might say, was everywhere. Rwanda has not slowed down.

While we talked I smelled the coffee! A few questions revealed that coffee was a major export for Rwanda and there was a lot of attention being paid to this sector by the private and public sectors. The people were proud of their coffee and it was soo gooood!

One of the ways that Rwanda as a nation has ‘moved on’ is in developing the coffee industry from the grass roots. Famers are being educated, are working together in cooperatives and have had 100 more washing stations added in the last 5 years to process the coffee beans in readiness for export.

Why coffee in particular? I am not entirely sure. Why find a way to do direct and empowering business with people in Rwanda? Not out of pity or sympathy but for the express reason of finding ways to join in the ‘moving on’ I have come to see is rooted deep in the psyche of the Rwanda people. I’d like to understand how a community rises up practically and how people overcome. I’d like to understand how they move on to become productive and powerful and not just another country waiting for aid.

I am looking forward to finding ways to import Rwanda coffee from the farmers directly to Canada coffee lovers.

Yes, it is important to ‘keep up with the times’, but it is also important to maintain healthy communication in every facet of life.  We text our doctors, parents, spouses, and tweet our inner most thoughts. Make sure to spend a little time everyday placing limits on your devices, your cell/pda, your computer and your television, movies and video games.  Turn the tv off, read a paper, a book, go for a walk with the kids, talk to each other at a dinner table. Call a friend.  Have a games night, yes, and even karaoke can be fun with no cell phone ringtone interruptions. Everyone is experiencing a degree of strife with this new age communication jumble.

Apple released their new Ipad this week.  It was highly anticipated and people are grabbing it up in the USA at a breathtaking pace.  Admittedly it does everything your iPhone does, and less, but people are adding it to their repertoire of technological data and communication devices.  More time to set up yet another device, be intrigued by a new toy and wait for the initial honeymoon phase to be over, but as soon as it is coming to an end (if not before) the next GREAT is released…  3-d tv’s, 3-d gaming consoles and the list goes on and on…..

Yes one word: BOUNDARIES.

Set some healthy habits in your life and be a healthy communicator with those around you, you will find some peace and calmness and the joy of just being a person again instead of a piece of text or an avatar.

I have found the break down tends to be in five areas: Money, Sex, In-Laws, Parenting & Chores, in no particular order.

You may have guessed that these areas represent significant areas of interaction in a couples’ relationship especially when kids are present. What to do with money, how many times to have sex, not spending enough time with their in-laws, kids listening to one parent more and someone procrastinating about the chores. The list could be endless and very different for each couple. One set-up could be a problem in one relationship and yet works well in another. It’s the values behind the topic.

No matter what the problems are, you want to come out with three improvements.

•        Talk about the topic of $, sex, in-laws, parenting and chores. No topic should be a non-topic. If it’s important enough for your partner, it’s important enough to talk about it.
•        Come up with a system that works for both of you in each area. It could mean sex three times a week for one couple and three times a month for another. 
•         Ensure that the system you have come up with reflects sufficient amounts of what you both value and believe in.  A blend of both, like a good coffee!

Office Administrator: I’d like to welcome Crystal Hudec to the Journey Counselling team! Crystal joins us as our new office administrator, she will likely be your first contact when accessing information about our services, booking an appointment, rescheduling or making payments over the phone. To reach her kindly use info@journeycounselling.ca or call 403-619-8558 X 101.

eCounselling: beginning February 1st, 2010, we are pleased to offer online and telephone counselling. If you are finding it hard to leave the office, you live out of town, cannot find a baby sitter or travel often and would like to maintain counselling support then this is for you! Skype, Instant Messaging, Emails, or Telephone! Call today to set up confidential and accessible services.  Do not hesitate to let us know how we can help you get further along the road!

Sincerely,

Charles

What is it?

eCounselling is an opportunity to connect with a professional counsellor from the privacy of your own home or space. Some people find it easier to talk about thoughts and feelings over the internet than in person. Through email you are able to communicate your thoughts and feelings at your own pace and take the time you need to be effective in what you want to say. Enjoy the same confidentiality as in face-to-face counselling. If you are finding it impossible or very difficult to get to a counsellors office then eCounselling is ideal for you. You can access the help you need through telephone conversations or videocounselling through skype with ease and convenience.

How it works?

Email us or phone us to set up an appointment for telephone, skype or instant message/chat via Yahoo or MSN. For the email option, let us know which package you have chosen. No appointments are required.

Suitable for…

• Stay-at-home moms and other individuals unable to get away from home or the office
• Flight attendants and those who find themselves constantly out of town or live out of town
• Life management and relationship coaching needs

Not suitable for…

• Couples or families accessing counselling together
• Individuals with chronic depression
• Individuals who are suicidal or currently in crises

Email packages

#1: 3 full page emails $150

#2: 12 full page emails/month $450

Call 1-403-619-8558